Lessons From A Single: I Am Complete!

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow!! This day is a day that many singles dread. I can remember a time when I would dread this holiday as well. It was a reminder to me that I was once again alone, single, and no one wanted to be with me. Now you may have these feelings, but someone reading this does. And . . . this was totally me for years!!! Part of my problem was that I seriously did not think I was complete unless I was in a relationship. All through high school, college, and most of my 20’s was spent in some ways feeling the NEED to be in relationship with some guy. This thinking lead me down a road of failed relationships, increased insecurities, toxic relationships, to just hooking up and dating random guys out boredom or loneliness. I was not feeling complete at all . . . matter of fact, I began to feel broken. I was shattered, and eventually a piece of me left with every random I felt hooked to that showed me any type of attention.

One day, I got tired. I gave up. I cried out for help in this area of my life. I began drawing closer to God, ended up in therapy, my relationship with God became a priority, and I began to find healing. Healing . . . allowing God to love me . . . embracing and accepting that love . . . loving me . . . I became complete! I realized I was complete all along!!

Take a look at the video below, as I share more on how I came to this realization some years ago. My prayer is that this Valentine’s Day be a day to remind you of the one who created you, shaped you, has a plan and purpose for you . . . the one who loves you. No man . . . degree . . . status . .ย . material possession can fulfill you with love and joy like God can. Enjoy the video and remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel!

~ Hazel~

Though you are Imperfect, you are loved by a Perfect God!

Truths About Being Single

Hey love bugs!

Okay . . . so for quite some time, I have been feeling this weight to do a series of messages just for SINGLES. Now, I’m going to be honest . . . when I first felt this heavy weight, I couldn’t understand why. Okayย . . . to be totally honest, I didn’t want to understand why. You see, me personally, I’m finally at a place of contentment with being single not to get confused with being complacent. Trust me . . . it has taken me years to get here. And . . . it has not gone without lots of tears, heartbreaks, mistakes, disappointments, feeling like I’ve wasted time, frustration, confusion, and even depression. Yes . . . being single has been one emotional rollercoaster. Then it hit me . . . this is why I’m feeling pressed to do this series that I will title Lessons From A Single. I’m sure many other women have felt like me, is currently having those emotions, or are now cool with their “single status”, but still struggle with navigating what to do with the time. So here we are. And here is my disclaimer:

I, Hazel Owens, am writing this series based off of my personal experiences and lessons learned with being single, and those experiences I have had the pleasure of enduring alongside others. I do realize that not everyone struggles with this topic, and at the same time I realize that many do. My hope is for each of us (including me) begin to live this season (and any other season of life) to the fullest potential possible, embracing every twist and turn along the way.

Aaaaahhhh . . . now that is out of the way. Let’s start with some truths about being single:

  • Singleness is not a disease, and marriage is not the cure.

Seriously .ย . . I have no idea where this thought came from. However, I do remember a time thinking something was wrong with me because I was single. This caused me to mentally marry every cute guy in my head that said “hello”. Basically, I rushed things with guys, and found myself giving myself to anyone that gave me attention because being single meant being alone. Being alone meant something has to be wrong with me. Having this mindset that marriage will fix your problem with being single runs the high risk of you ending up with the wrong person, or feeling more frustrated after each failed relationship. Singleness is not some disease or some problem that can be wiped away with marriage. Marriage has it’s own sets of problems and frustrations, as with any season in life. This is a time for some soul searching for you. If you can’t stand being alone with you, how do you expect for anyone else to want to be around you. Marriage is not going to make you happy all of the time . . . honestly you yourself can’t make you happy all of the time. So, please do not think that marriage is going to solve all of your single problems, because it won’t. Use this season to see what all God wants to do for you and through you.

  • Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely

So this drive me nuts! Just because I’m alone, doesn’t mean I’m lonely. I am sure many others feel this way as well. Alone does not always equate to feeling lonely. In moments where I have felt lonely, I would seriously have to focus on those who are around me. Sometimes, it’s hard to connect with that friend who is married, a momma, or both because they can’t always hang or talk when you want to. I can’t get mad about that because that’s their season, but what I had to learn to do was to do things on my own. The more I began to do things on my own, the more I began to learn me more intimately. I began to meet other people. I began to fall in love with me all over again.

  • Desiring marriage, connection, or companionship from the opposite sex is not wrong.

There is nothing wrong with having strong desires for marriage or companionship with opposite sex. How you act on those desires is what can get you in trouble. Dating random people, just because you are bored or don’t want to be alone, will get old. Having sex with “randoms” just because they gave you some attention and time you were desiring is a recipe for confusion and heartbreak (more on this later). Be careful how you act on those desires.

  • Being single can be exciting

This is an amazing time to enjoy all the things God is calling you to without distractions. You don’t have to worry about the cares of a husband or children (if you’re not a mother) when you make decisions. If you have children, you can bring them along, or introduce them to the things that God is calling you to. Traveling freely, pursuing your purpose, serving, hanging out with friends, taking risks . . . gosh this time of life can be so exciting if you just put yourself out there and embrace it.

  • This season can be frustrating!

It can totally seem like everyone is in a relationship but you. Every time you turn around, someone you know is getting engaged. You are over a certain age and people put the pressure on you to be involved. Holidays are the worst at times . . . a constant reminder that you are single. When you are content, people confuse it with you not being open to marriage or relationships. How frustrating is this?!?! More to come in a future post.

  • Being single does not mean you are not whole or complete

This saddens me deeply, and yet so many women struggle with this . . . I did too. Feeling like you are not whole or complete can at times force you to stay in toxic relationships or in relationships longer than you should. When God created you, He created you whole. Being with someone is not going to complete you, because sis, you are already complete!

I’m so excited for this series. I’m praying for singles, and I pray that the lessons that I have learned (and learning) along the way, be a source of inspiration to you. Also, as I introduce this series, I am adding videos for a deeper dive with every post. I am now on YouTube!!!!! Many of you have been asking for video along with the blogs, and it’s finally here! Be easy with me, as I’m still learning the art of YouTube lol. Enjoy this message on YouTube by clicking the link below. While you are there, please subscribe to my channel! I look forward to your comments there and on this website. Let’s journey together friends!

~Hazel ~

Though you are Imperfect, you are loved by a Perfect God!




Quick Message to Singles

Hey love bugs!! This was just placed on my heart to share with those who are single. If you are anything like me, you may have moments that you struggle with the idea of being single. Maybe you wonder if you will EVER find the ONE…or will you remain single for the REST of your life…or maybe you struggle with loneliness…maybe you’re divorced or widowed and this new single life is foreign to you…I’m not sure where you are on the spectrum, but I encourage you to embrace this season!! 

One thing that has helped me, and continues to help me, is that life still needs to be lived!! It is important that you don’t rush this season for there is much to gain and discover in it. It’s the perfect time to serve God and discover things about yourself that you never knew. Life still needs to be lived

When I speak to singles in workshops or at conferences, I often ask: If you never get married or go on another date, what would you do? You can’t let life pass you by or miss out on opportunities/discoveries because you are so worked up in waiting for your mate to do things. 

As I sit here right now on a deck of a restaurant overlooking a reservoir, sipping a cocktail, and watching the sunset and its reflection bouncing off the lake, I can’t help but to thank God that He has brought me to this place of contentment in my singleness. It’s okay to take yourself out! And while I’m on my date night, I discovered that I’m a cheap date because my dinner and beverage was less than $20!!!! Lol! 

Seriously, enjoy this life you have…embrace the journey…and remember life still needs to be lived whether single or married! 



His Likeness

You meet a guy, you fall in love or โ€œstrong likeโ€, and it feels great! You have been yearning for this type of connection for quite some time. Time with this guy . . . well you canโ€™t get enough of that. You look forward to his sweet โ€œgood morning beautifulโ€ text messages, talking throughout the day, and dates in the evenings. As time goes on, you find yourself adjusting yourself doing things that you know would make him happy. You may even put what you want or desire on hold to make sure his needs and wants are met.

I know youโ€™re like, โ€œWell Hazel, whatโ€™s wrong with all of that? This is what you do in relationships sometimesโ€. True enough, and believe me, there is nothing wrong with any of this. In relationships of any kind, there will often be some compromising. You will often want to be around that person because of how they make you feel or because of your infatuation with them. Again, nothing wrong there. However, have you ever lost who you are while doing these things? Have you ever found yourself totally changing by adapting the other personโ€™s characteristics, hobbies, and habits?

I Lost Me

Trying To

Please Him

I donโ€™t know about you, but I have. In the past, the longer I stayed dating someone, I found myself adapting his likeness. I found myself doing things that I know he would like; wearing my hair the way he likes, dressing the way he likes, going to places I know he would like, etc. Now donโ€™t get me wrong, I was not like the chick on Coming to America, saying โ€œWhatever you liiiikkkeeeโ€. Naw . . . it didnโ€™t get that far, but at times I may have come close.

I also noticed over the years that Iโ€™m not alone in this experience. Many women find themselves putting on the likeness of the guy they are in relation with. This could even happen with women and their female friends too. Itโ€™s so easy for us to do this because we are trying to please our mate. While there is nothing wrong with this, it does become problematic if it gets to the point where you totally lose sight of who you are and who God called you to be. So I beg the question, If we allow ourselves to put on the likeness of our mates because of our desire to please them, then how much more should we put on the likeness of the One who created us?

Remember, people are flawed and imperfect. Be careful in your pursuit of relationships, not to totally transform your God-identity to please another human. Our identity is in Christ. Allow Him to guide and lead you in your relationships, to reveal Himself to you, and for Him to show you how to put on His likeness. Again, there is nothing wrong with pleasing your mate, just make sure it doesnโ€™t cost you your soul in doing so. Keep God in the midst of all your relationships to reduce the risk of conforming into a person that God doesnโ€™t desire you to be. Draw close to Him and watch how you will begin to imitate His image, and become more like Him (something we all should be striving to be).


Remember this: Though you are imperfect, you are loved by a perfect God!

Singleness & Valentine’s Day

Hey love bugs!

So I have been trying to post this video since yesterday. As you can see, I’m trying to switch some things up on here LOL. So, email subscribers, I’m so sorry for the multiple emails about this topic with nothing to see, but I think we have it fixed.

Valentine’s Day can be a tough time for many singles, but it doesn’t have to be. Do not let this one day . . . this man made holiday . . . get you down and out about your season of singleness. You are loved period! Check out the video . . . I hope to share more on this topic soon. Spend this “love” holiday reflecting on all the ways you are loved and spending time with those who extend love towards you!