Heart to Heart Series: Meet Chris Davis

For quite some time, I have been wanting to add a male’s voice to this blog. With the supporters being mostly women, I know many of us (women) want to hear a male’s perspective when it comes to dating and relationships. Although you all get to glean from my experiences, I’m not a man; and therefore cannot fully express in writing what a man thinks/feels when it comes to the topic dating and relationships.

My heartbeat is to try to encourage and empower women to be the best woman they are able to be. I want to help women to embrace the unconditional love of God, to heal from their past hurts, and to understand how to practice self love. In addition to all of this, I want myself and my sisters . . . yes all of you . . . to enter into healthy relationships with men. To the brothers who support this blog, you know by now that this site do not male bash. I want men to have a better understanding of women, and women to have a better understanding of men. In the end, my prayer is that we draw closer to God to help us to be the men and women God has called us to be. It is then, through Christ, that we are able to flourish in our relationships.

I say all of that to say, that God has placed it on my heart to start a blog series called “Heart to Heart”. It is through this series where we will explore topics as it relates to dating and relationships from both the male and female perspective. As I was sharing this vision with a dear friend, it became clear that he was the person I was to do this series with.

Please allow me to introduce you all to my great friend Min. Chris Davis. Chris and I have dug deep into several conversations around dating and relationships. We both realize that we share the same heartbeat for our respective genders. The things we discussed, we have been able to share them in other platforms, and now want to share with you! Check out Chris’s bio:

     Min. Chris Davis is the founder and president of The Bridge Leadership Foundation a local faith based organization that serves youth and families of Indianapolis. He attended Indiana University and played football for the Hoosiers (yes, Indiana is more than a basketball school!) He is single father of three superstar sons who are truly his pride and joy. In raising his sons, he often says that part of his job as a present and active father is to grow thoroughly equipped young men who will impact the world as good men and  “good catches.” A former educator, coach, and youth pastor, Mr. Davis has been serving youth and families for over 12 years. He is a poet, lover of music, and an avid movie buff.

     Chris has served and consulted in some of the largest ministries in the country. From his service, he has developed keen insight regarding single-hood, relational dynamics, and strategies to engineer health in these areas. His greatest desire is, taking a page from the late Dr. Myles Monroe, to live a life where he is gone, he will have given everything God has gifted him to give.

I’m so excited about this blog series! Please keep us in prayer as we seek to hear God’s voice on what and how to share with all of you.



Coco’s Couch Man Cave: “Single Don’t Mean Sick”

hello my name is singleHave you ever had people come treat you like something is wrong with you because you are single? Don’t be over 30, single, and no kids . . . man folks will act like you have some disease causing you to remain single! For this very reason, I have talked a lot about being single and embracing your singleness. Well . . . What a way to kick off this Man Cave, then to hear from a gentleman on what it means to be single. Check out Professor Brent Lyle’s blog: Single Don’t Mean Sick


You know, being “single” gets a bad rap.  We all contribute to it.  We, the People, tend to look at being single as some worrisome period of boring loneliness, confused feelings, and wondering what is “wrong” with us.  You get friends, family, co-workers, and even the lady at the checkout counter asking you all sorts of prying questions.  Other people may even imply that they feel sorry for you.  You might even get on your own nerves thinking that everyone has somebody but you.  Well . . . Can I ask you a question?

“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words…” –why do you let other people-, better yet, why do you keep hurting yourself?

Think about what I’m asking for a second.  I’m sure you’re not going to know the answer to that question right now, but by the time you finish reading this and take some time to think about how it might relate to you, I hope you’ll call it quits.

“Single” isn’t some status denoting your condition of harboring some infectious disease.  “Single” isn’t a sickness.  “Single” is nothing that can be treated with prescribed meds or analyzed with X-rays.  There is, in most cases, nothing particularly “wrong” with you.  So what’s the problem?  Perhaps then, there are just some things you need to know.

Let’s talk about being “Single.”

First, we have to know what it means—the basics.

Amongst its definitions,

“1. an individual person, rather than part of a pair or group;

2. unmarried, or not involved in a stable sexual relationship;

3. free from duplicity or deceit.”

In context, none of these describe anything…”wrong.”  In fact, the third definition actually describes that the word means exactly the opposite, completely free of wrong, “good.”  Why was that important?  Definitions clarify things.  Knowing what the word single means should bring you some reassurance that this “single” life is literally good, for you.

Being that definitions clarify things, now that we know what it is, we also know what it is notthe boundaries. Single is not a part of a pair–it’s alone. So, single person, why aren’t you alone?  Ah, yes…the late night texts, subtweets, DMs, and inbox messages . . . those that swoon your good senses into the garbage can until the next morning with a cold shower and the breakfast of champions, along with a side of disgust.  Why do you spend so much time with others and not yourself?  That brings me to my next point . . .

Second, we have to know what it allows—the benefits.  Being single is a time machine.  Yeah, being single allows you to more fully exercise God’s gift of “time”.  It allows you to advance forward into being fully you–unadulterated, and un-swayed by others’ opinions and their backwash.  Time machines allow you look back into the past, right?  So does being single.  It gives you a precious chance to revisit past relationship successes AND failures on your own terms, on your own time, and in your own mind — so you can go into future relationship(s) better than you ever were before.  Yesgo back and examine past moments you enjoyed and the moments you didn’t to edit yourself in them for an empowered future.

Have you ever heard of the word “Sankofa”?  Likely not.  “Sankofa” is an Akan (subgroup from Southwestern Africa) word that means, “We must go back and reclaim our past so we can move forward, understanding why and how we came to be who we are today.” 

Being single allows you to mentally [and spiritually] travel through time to avoid potentially destructive situations to your emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and financial [taking them out all the time] stability.

Finally, we have to know what it requires—the burdens.  ‘Process flows’ are common to the workplace; guess what—being single has one, too.  Here it is:  Understand. > Commit. > Choose. > Desire. > Evaluate. > Apply. > Repeat.

1. You must have a solid UNDERSTANDING of what “single” is and means.

2. You must make a COMMITMENT to being single while you are single.  If you’re alone, know that you are and be okay with that.  You’re a person you can get to know just as much as someone else is.

3. You must CHOOSE to remember the definition and what it means. Every new day you wake up, choosing to maintain these requirements.

4. You must DESIRE to succeed at being single.  If you won’t stop feeling sorry for yourself and start enjoying your life, who’s going to do it for you?  Get hype and go to some concerts, enjoy your commute into work, take yourself out on a date, try something new; do something to succeed at this thing!

5. You must EVALUATE your progress by utilizing resources for learning more.  If you want to know some, you can ask me personally. I share. 

6. You must APPLY what you learned so that you can . . .

7. REPEAT the process more deeply UNDERSTANDING what “single” is…and so forth.

You see, being single isn’t fixed by medicine; it IS medicine.  Being single should be just as great as being in a happy, “Facebook-official”, jealousy-inducing relationship. So what do you do?  How do you move on during those moments when you feel helpless and hopeless?  I think it’s simple:  Pause. Reread this article. Examine. Breathe. Pray. …and Enjoy the rest of your day.

. . . That is all.

“Dream daily. Believe always.”

— Professor Lyle.

“I like being single, I’m always there when I need me.” ―Art Leo

Contact Brent:


Facebook: facebook.com/ProfessorLyle

Twitter: @ProfessorLyle

InstaGram: @ProfessorLyle

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Coco’s Couch Man Cave: Meet Professor Brent Lyle

Welcome  to the new segment to Coco’s Couch . . . Coco’s Couch: Man Cave! I’m so excited to introduce this segment to the blog!! Coco’s Couch Man Cave will feature men who have great insight to topics relating to dating and relationships. Sometimes it’s great to hear from the men; to gain their perspective on such matters of the heart! Us women are always wanting to know what men think, well now you have the opportunity to enter the “Man Cave”. Not only are you allowed to enter, you are allowed to ask as many questions as you would like, and talk as much as you want to!!! LOL!!  This is your chance to pick the brains of true gentlemen.

First up to enter Coco’s Couch Man Cave is the handsome, smart, God-fearing, and true gentleman himself, Professor Brent Lyle. Brent will be sharing his brilliant thoughts, and giving his perspective through a number of blogs.

Meet Professor Brent Lyle:

Brent Lyle

Photo Cred: Paul D. Best Photography https://www.facebook.com/PaulDBestPhotography

When I was growing up, my mother and other people always told me, “You can do anything you put your mind to.”  Does that sound familiar to you?  Maybe you can relate. That phrase seemed true enough, and hearing it so often cemented it in my mind as some general, comforting message of encouragement to hand out like club flyers to people suffering from self-doubt.  It never really resonated with me though.  In fact, it didn’t mean anything real to me until recently, in a time when I could help anyone else, but just couldn’t seem to find how to make my own dreams come true.

Then it finally hit me one day when I came across these words by Lao Tzu: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  My mind raced confirming that this was, indeed true. When my thoughts paired it with “You can do anything you put your mind to,” it was like magic.  You CAN do anything you put your mind to IF you take the first step and keep walking.

Hi, my name is Brent.  I’m a detail-oriented thinker, speaker, writer, thrill-seeker, student of Life, and always a Gentleman first.  I am an explorer; I explore the world through travel, music, art, culture, giving, architecture, and the mind.  Lots of people call me Professor, and with good reason.  I am not an expert in molecular biology, nor do I teach in a prestigious university.  No, what I do is different.  I help people figure things out.  In matters of Life & Style, I’m here to help.

I don’t know everything, but I learn something new every day.  “Well, who are you to tell me anything, then?” you may ask.  I am a Man who admits his mistakes, and wants to do something about it.  A lesson I learned in Spain some years ago is my point: “You always teach what you need to know better, for one of the best ways to learn is to teach.”  

They call me Professor Lyle, and class is always in session.

~Professor Lyle~


Facebook: facebook.com/ProfessorLyle

Twitter: @ProfessorLyle

InstaGram: @ProfessorLyle

 I’m so overjoyed that this gentleman will be opening up on this platform! Trust me ladies, you don’t want to miss not one of his posts! Gentlemen, I’m sure you will find some value in Brent’s posts as well! Without further ado:  Welcome to Coco’s Couch Man Cave!