Picking up from Part 2, I will be the first to admit that this (putting on the full armor of God) is rough. It is hard to understand that it’s a spirit you’re fighting against when all you see is their flesh. I didn’t always (and still don’t) handle these situations well (read Part 1).
I can remember paying evil for evil, hurt for hurt.
I can remember being stressed, worrying, and wondering what she feels/think of me . . . what she’s saying about me. Wondering how I can get her to like me.
I can remember being frustrated with her that I would avoid her all together. I would act as if she doesn’t exist. All the while, I’m bringing her up and her nasty/ugly ways to any and everyone who would listen.
I can remember giving her so much of my energy . . . energy that she didn’t deserve. I would have my antennas up every time I had to interact with her, ready for a signal from her that gave me the green light to gut punch her my words . . . to be on the defense at all times. And for what? Who is worth all of that energy? Why am I falling in her trap creating “If she/I’m gonna” scenes in my head? You know:
If she says this, I’m gonna . . .
If she rolls her eyes at me again, I’m gonna . . .
If she says something smart, I’m gonna . . . you get where I’m going with this.
That’s energy being misused.
I finally got to a place where I was no longer letting her or anyone else suck that much energy out of me. So, as I started drawing closer to God, and getting in His word, He began to show me myself. He began to show me ways I too have acted nasty and ugly to someone else for no reason at all.
Through a therapeutic process (in which I blogged about in a 3 part series: part 1, 2, & 3), I began to work through my own issues, and draw closer to God at the same time. This has helped me to understand that sometimes the issue is not you, it’s her spirit not agreeing with your spirit.
Once I was able to heal from some of my wounds, and recognize my triggers, I found myself becoming more compassionate to people like her. I started focusing my energy more on how God sees me and less on how humans see me. My desire shifted to wanting to please Him and no longer please others. I was starting to understand that not everyone was going to like me and actually be okay with that.
As I continued to work through this, I was able to see how accessible the armor of God is, and how if you put it on it will seriously protect you. Because I am human, at times I forget to wear the armor of God. I tend to slip back and get snippy with her. But God quickly reminds me who I am in him, and that this battle is bigger than me. My only job is to love her with the love of God.
Love pushes out hate!
It’s not being fake or phony, it’s called being mature. So pray for her, love her, and ask God to help you deal with her. Is it going to be hard? Yes. Are you going to always get it right? No. But remember this battle is bigger than you and you need God to help you.
Stop fighting by yourself. You will wear yourself out because you are fighting her and not her spirit!