A couple of weeks ago I opened up about my frustrations with being single. Single & Satisfied; Yet Frustrated is just me showing that you can be satisfied/content with being single, but frustrating moments will come! These are real moments that we experience. Now don’t get me wrong…marriage is not the cure to your singleness; for marriage can bring on its own set of frustrations and struggles. Since I have never been married, I can’t really speak on those issues, but I am single and have been for quite sometime.
So how do you deal with those frustrating moments?
To be quite honest, I didn’t realize how frustrated I can get with being single until I started abstaining from sex. I have been abstaining for close to 2 1/2 years Lord Jesus!! I believe I was having frustrating moments before abstaining, but they didn’t become more apparent or real to me until I started to deny my fleshly desires to have sex outside of marriage.
Please understand that my frustrating moments are beyond the physical aspect (as listed out in the previous blog). Once you make the choice to totally surrender to God’s will, you began to see just how much your flesh craves. I digress because that’s a whole different topic lol
So how do I manage?
• Prayer! Y’all prayer really does help. When I find myself in a struggle, I take it to the Lord. He knows my frustrations, He knows my desires, and He knows me. So I go to Him! Regardless of the type of frustration I’m feeling, I go to Him. By doing so I learned how much of a comforter He is. I am also reminded of the promises He gave me. He said that I am a wife! He said that He is preparing and molding me. He also said that He is not ready to share me yet, and there are some things and people He need to get out of and from around me. Yes I said “out of”! Don’t you know that He has to cleanse you from your previous husbands and wives? You know the men and women you married within 30 – 45 minutes and just months later y’all were separated. Yeah…your past sex partners are your husbands (wives for the men reading this). Juanita Bynum said it best in her sermon, “No More Sheets”, that God can’t bring you your husband because there is no room for him in your spirit. When you have sex with someone there is a soul tie there. So, God has to cleanse me and make room in my spirit for my future husband.
• Accountability Partners It is so important to have accountability partners. I could not have gone through this season so far without my accountability partners. Find someone who is like-minded that will keep you on track. Y’all can be of encouragement to each other.
• Get Busy & Enjoy Life You have to enjoy life! Get a hobby, get involved in your community and your church, find activities that you enjoy doing, and do them! Life is happening, and will happen whether you are married or single, so you may as well enjoy it! Hang with some friends, take yourself out on a date, join a club, travel . . . get busy!
• Exercise Exercising is a great way to let out some pinned up stress and frustrations. Take it out on the treadmill. Join that Zumba or Bootcamp class. Take yoga classes and learn to meditate. Go for a walk on a trail in a park, and take in the scenery.
• Journal Your Frustrations Writing can be very therapeutic. Don’t worry about the grammar . . . just write out every thought/feeling. It is a great way to get it all out without having to talk about it.
These are just a few things I do to help with those frustrating moments. Doing these things keep me so consumed that my frustrations come far and in between. The most important thing is to not let the frustrations get the best of you. Don’t feed into your frustration with being single that you do something you’re gonna regret.
I will close this blog with something a good friend of mine said today in his sermon at church. “You need to consider the consequences before you taste what is tempting you.” – Min. Jejuan Westmoreland Don’t feed into your frustrations, as typically temptation is just around the corner. Think about the consequences first! Lastly, know that you are not alone. Your season is only temporary! Whatever season you are in enjoy it because with each new season, comes a new change in climate.