Single & Satisfied; Yet Frustrated!


As a single woman (or man), you may have your share of frustrations with your relationship status. Well, let me speak for myself . . . As a SINGLE woman, I HAVE my fair share of frustrations. Yes me!! The woman who preaches about being single & satisfied. Although, I am Saved, Single, & Satisfied, I am still human . . . heck I am still a WOMAN. So yes, I get frustrated with being single!!

Can I be real for just a moment?

Here I am trying my best to go about dating the “right” way; the Christian way of dating, and at times it seems I keep falling short. Trust me, I know all of the spiritual stuff people say:

–          He is coming, just trust in the Lord

–          God is preparing your husband for you, and you for your husband

–          Just wait on the Lord

–          God will give you the desires of your heart

–          God has not forgotten about you

–          God knows when the time is right

Yes, I totally get the spiritual aspect of being single. I speak these things over myself and to others. I am fully aware of all the benefits of being single, and how much service I am to the kingdom of God while being single. I believe it and I live by it. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be writing this blog . . . actually I would be doing some other things if you know what I mean LOL. Since I don’t live there anymore, I digress.

Knowing all of these things, living and breathing these things, I STILL get frustrated with being single at times! So here it is:

**Courtesy of Google Images**

**Courtesy of Google Images**

–          My frustrations are not always sexual or physical in any way. (I mean that’s part of it; but not all of it LOL)

–          Sometimes, it’s just nice to have male company. But not just any male (I refuse to spend my time with just anyone). . . you know that one special kind of guy that makes it easy for you to just be YOU . . . unapologetically YOU . . . and he loves that about you.

–          Not having someone to share my days with can be frustrating. Good and bad days. Yeah I have my friends, and trust me my girls are the bomb . . . but ain’t nothing like a man’s arms! I’m just saying!

–          I get tired of coming home to an empty house. It would be nice to be greeted by someone when I get home? This goes back to sharing my days with someone.

–          Oh and don’t get me started on the million and one questions around “why I am still single?” I get so tired of addressing that question with people. I have so many other things happening around me that I would love to talk about; yet people are so focused on the fact that I’m in my 30’s with no kids, and SINGLE! Geeze give me a break!

–          When I dated the way the “world” dates, I had no problem getting a date. Now, I can’t even get a second look from a guy! *shrugs*

–          THE WEDDINGS!!!! Lord Jesus help me!! Ok y’all, I am overjoyed for ALL of my friends and family members that are or have recently gotten married. I truly am. But I would be lying if I didn’t wonder: Ok Lord . . . when is it my turn? And I KNOW I am not the only one who thinks that or who ever thought it. And no, I do not think that marriage is the cure to singleness at all by any means. I’m just sayin . . . can a sista jump on that bandwagon as well! All this danglin’ I’m doin LOL!! Anyway . . .

–          I’m tired of questioning what else I need to do to prepare to be a wife.

–          I’m tired of seeing people get engaged/married that went about their dating and courting outside the will of God. Not at all judging. I too once dated outside the will of God. Just an observation.

–          Tired of flying “solo dolo”. Although I do enjoy my “me” time . . . sometimes a little too much.

–          Please don’t get me started on this stupid biological clock that just started ticking . . . enough said!

–          I’m tired of the moments where I just lay in frustration crying/yearning for the day to be someone’s wife, and be referred to some little person as “mommy”

Am I frustrated? . . . YES. Tired . . . YES. Gonna give up . . . NO!! God has brought me too far for me to go back to the things I used to do. I truly believe that these frustrations are normal. I also know that marriage will bring on its own set of frustrations and struggles.

The key is to understand how to be Saved, Single, and Satisfied; while managing your frustrations. There is a way to properly handle those frustrating moments . . . I will share how I deal/manage these moments in another blog.

So, if you are a Christian single, please know it is okay to feel frustrated. It is what you do in those moments that matter. Also, know that you are not alone! I’m right there with you, and I know the STRUGGLE IS REAL!!

Stay encouraged!

~Hazel~

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8 thoughts on “Single & Satisfied; Yet Frustrated!

  1. Lauren K. says:

    Yes! I am having such a hard time w/that empty house thing. I drove 150 miles just to be around love from family, and walked in to an empty house. That’s even harder than going to my own place where I already know there’s no one to greet me smh. My family just pretty much go their separate ways now too. And I cannot get them to understand where I’m coming from, they just think I’m whining smh. Single, saved, and satisfied is hard!!!

    • Coco's Couch says:

      Yes Lauren that can be hard! My follow up blog will cover things I do to get over these frustrating moments. Being away from family is hard. So when I moved to Indy, I began to create a “family” within my friends. So one way to deal with the “empty house” thing is to try to surround yourself with the love of friends. Yes at the end of the day you go home alone but it won’t bother you as much because you have spent the entire day around friends! At least that’s what help me. Also, FaceTime, Skype, or any other video calling app helps as well.

  2. Marlakenya says:

    Haze, I read your blog faithfully and I must say this by far is my fav!!!! Thanks for being real & open to share your realness!!! Love ya girl!!!!

    • Coco's Couch says:

      First let me thank you so much for all of your support! I pray that these messages continue to bless you! Thank you so much! As God continues to pour into me I will continue to pour out! Thanks girl! Love you too!!

  3. marie624 says:

    I read this and laugh and think WOW’ this is me totally. Even at the age of 57 I have been satisfied for the most part about my dating life . If you wish to call it that maybe a dinner every now and then but nothing serious. I have been single for a very long time mainly because I know what I want and what am looking for. But I do become very frustrated when people act so silly like it would seem a lot of men my age even the one’s who call themselves Christians. Don’t know what they want and also enjoy playing games. And all they wish to do is have sex and that’s the farthest thing from my mind because am trying to live right and do right. And they want no part of it so that’s where the frustration comes in. So I remain on my on and continue to pray that God will send me the man that he wants me to be with so I just have to be patient and wait.

    • Coco's Couch says:

      Thank you for your comment! Waiting can be frustrating at times but it’s what we do during those frustrating moments is what matters. Letting God do the matchmaking for you is the best thing you can do!

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