Yeah…I used to say that every time I found myself getting frustrated with a guy I was in a relationship with. Although that statement has some truth, I was taking it completely out of context! Like many other women I
know, I would get quiet and stop nagging, but my attitude about the situation still showed. Usually it wasn’t pretty!
I would roll my eyes, be condescending, be negative, slam doors and other objects, and become distant; thinking that I would teach him a lesson. Thinking that if I show him better than I can tell him he would change. Well one thing is for sure, he was not going to change his ways or work on the issue with behavior like that! Heck I may as well have continued to keep speaking with my words because my body language and behavior revealed everything I wanted to say.
Once I began to heal from my own issues, I started to learn that:
Sometimes closing your mouth and not saying any thing can say so much.
We (women) need to learn how to hush sometimes! If you find yourself saying the same thing over and over to a man chances are he has checked out on you. You have now become a nag, and your words sound like: womp womp womp womp womp!!
Say it once, then LET IT GO!! Let your behavior speak for you. But be careful…your behavior and body language should be in check as well.
This does not mean to walk around with an attitude, playing the “I’m not talking to you game”, being cold and slamming doors. This is something I had a bad habit of doing as I mentioned earlier. After going through my healing process I realized emotionally I was 4 years old! I can thank Nathan McGuire for that lol. My behavior was childish! A grown woman acting like a child because things are not going the way I wanted it. When actually I had already accepted what he was bringing to the table, then all of a sudden I wanted a change...yeah that was smart! If we keep it real…some of you have been there or are currently there, but I digress!
I had to learn that I can’t change a man…he has to want to change for himself. Nagging with your words or without your words doesn’t help the process! So if you want to win your man over, I dare you to try this:
Say it once (speak your peace), turn it over to God, and let God deal with him. Don’t become a nag and don’t treat him like a child; instead show the God in you by keeping a gentle and quiet spirit.
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1, 2 NIV)
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” (Proverbs 21:19 NIV)