IWU Blog Corner: Learning to Garden at IWU


I’m so honored and humbled by the opportunity to be a blogger for my alma mater Indiana Wesleyan University. As a member of the Alumni Association, I agreed to start writing blogs for IWU. I truly loved my experience there as both an undergrad and grad student. Because I am a huge advocate for higher education, I will share here on Coco’s Couch the blogs I write for IWU.

Back in October 2013, my first blog was published on the IWU Adult & Grad website. Going back to school and finishing my degrees was one of the best decisions I’ve made. It is never too late to go back to school! There is no greater investment, than investing in yourself! Check out my story on how I got started at IWU. Click the following link: Learning to Garden at IWU

~Hazel~

No More Hookups


no more hookups imageWhatever happened to the times where dating/courting actually existed? Relationship hookups has taking over the process of getting to know someone, and actually dating/courting them. Society has made hooking up so acceptable. I mean the casual hookup is everywhere! We see folks hooking up left and right in movies and on T.V., and we hear about it in songs. Because this is what society accepts, many people tend to think it’s okay to hookup, and will justify their reasons for it. What’s sad about this concept is that there are the individuals who hookup with people, and deep down desire a healthy relationship. But like a drug addict, it’s hard to stop, no matter how bad they want to.

I was that individual. I have been in several situations where I felt hooking up was okay. I mean we were spending time together consistently. We went out on dates (sometimes outside of my place or his . . . ooohh score!!).

Ladies listen to me: If he is always at your house, eating your food, watching your T.V.  &  you two never go out; you are not dating!!! Don’t confuse in-house hangouts with dating. Don’t get caught up by dating him and he’s not dating you. This another blog to write on later. Back to what I was saying . . .

We talked on a regular. But in each situation, something was missing. I wanted more. I wanted a commitment. After thinking this way for quite some time, I started looking at the value I was placing on myself. Here it is:

A nice dinner (let’s say about $40/plate) and a mediocre conversation,  in exchange for a night of tossing and getting tangled in the sheets. Sooo . . .  really I just gave up my cookie for a $40 meal and a conversation that didn’t even spark my intellect.

For some guys, I didn’t even get that out the deal!! I was letting myself get pimped out, and settling for less than I deserve. And like many women, I convinced myself this behavior was okay . . . that we will eventually end up together. That he will change or that I can change him. You cannot change no man so please get that out of your head! Then hooking up became old for me. I realized that I will never get to the type of relationship I truly desired by settling for these meaningless “hookups”.

So here is my message:

If a committed relationship is what you truly desire, then sis you have to stop selling yourself short for a “hookup”. You are only prolonging the process for you to meet the one God has for you. Trust me I get it:

You’re lonely . . . You’re like the drug addict and feel as if you could never abstain (trust me it’s hard but it can be done and it does get easier) . . . or You’re bored (this eventually became my excuse before I quit with the hookups).

Even though you may feel this way, please understand this: The right one is out there for you but you will never see him as long as your “hookups” are in the way. You are worth more than the price of dinner and a movie, a night on the town, a new designer purse and/or shoes, a weekend getaway . . . need I go on. Quit selling yourself at a cheap price! Know your worth!

It’s time to stop hooking up and let God write your love story. Your hookups are hindering you from receiving the one God has designed just for you. Your body is a temple . . . quit marrying men that are not your husband. 

~Hazel~

**image courtesy of Google Images**