These were my thoughts when I hung up that phone. Even as I drove to Nathan’s office, I was thinking of all of the reasons as to why I needed to turn around. For some reason, I couldn’t do it. I had to keep my appointment.
I had never been more scared as I sat in his office. How could I open up to someone I barely knew? What if he judges me? The thoughts began to race. Although it was scary, it felt good to finally open all the way up, and let someone in. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me. I knew I was about to enter an amazing journey!
I hid the fact that I was seeing a therapist for the first two months of therapy. I only told a select few people. I needed to do this without the thoughts, opinions, and judgement of others. Besides I needed to come to grips of this myself.
Through therapy, I learned how to walk into the freedom of forgiveness. I learned what my triggers are, and how to handle them.
I learned to open myself up, and be vulnerable (and that this is okay to do sometimes).
I learned how to communicate in a healthy way.
I learned how to accept love from others.
I learned how to control my thoughts.
I learned how to relax.
I learned how to recognize when fear is talking to me.
I learned how to accept people for who they are, and not what my past tells me who they are.
Above all, I learned how to truly love on God, separate Him from my earthly father, and allow Him to love and move in my life by surrendering to His will.
8 months of consistent weekly therapy, and a lifetime of joy, peace, and love. WOW! No more masking the hurt and pain with sex and alcohol. I finally feel free, and happier than I ever had been in my life.
Through therapy and surrendering it all to God, I can now say I’m healed! You Too Can Heal!