For years I was in a relationship with a man by the name of “Fear”. Over the years, Fear had so much control over me that I forgot he was always present.
Fear came into my life when I was a little girl; playing on my innocence. As I grew older, Fear played on life events that I experienced, to the point where he had my whole life controlled by strings. I was his puppet and he was my puppeteer; moving me in every direction he wanted me to go.
Then one day, Fear moved in and brought his cousins: “Fear of Rejection”, “Fear of Abandonment”, “Fear of Failure”, and “Fear of Not Being Good Enough”. Here I am, 30 years old, now realizing how long my boyfriend “Fear” has been shackin up with me. Now I’m ready to give him the “DUECES”!!
Here is my break-up letter to Fear:
This letter is long overdue. Approximately 26yrs overdue. When we first met I had no idea the affect you would have on me. You ran some really good “game” as you slowly manipulated me, deceived me, and infected me with your wicked thoughts, until you ultimately had full control over me. You’re so good at what you do. Even when you had control over me, you had me thinking it was me and not you.
As if controlling my every thought, my every decision, and my life (as I knew it) was not enough, you brought part of your “Fear” family with you. “Fear of Abandonment” made me shut down from every person that tried to get close to me. He caused me to not open up to those who truly cared by telling me they would leave me. So in turn he would have me push them away.
Then, “Fear of Abandonment’s” twin, “Fear of Rejection”, would stop me from exposing my feelings to the opposite sex. He would only let me fall for guys that would hurt me. Guys that would lie, cheat, emotionally abuse, use, and take from me became normal for me. Thus, proving “Rejection” right.
“Fear of Abandonment & Rejection” set the stage for their siblings “Fear of Failure” and “Fear of Not Being Good Enough”. They played their parts very well, and it came easy for them to do so. I fell for them every time because so much damage was already done.
So Fear, look back at the damage you caused. Too bad you weren’t powerful enough! What I didn’t always realize is how much God’s love, grace, mercy, and favor was over my life as you were plotting to take me out. Well, jokes on you because you never stood a chance! You cannot win against God! *bloop bloop* Sorry for you!!
See as I drew closer to Him, your wicked ways became more exposed. So now I’m in love with a new man. My Heavenly Father. His plan, and His ways are much better than yours. Through Him, I am learning what true love is. Through Him, I know I am not rejected and abandoned. Through Him, I am good enough, and I am wanted. He created me, so you have no authority!!! I am now FREE!!!
Do I think you will leave easily? No.
Do I think you will put up a fight? Yes.
Do I think you will try to come back? Absolutely.
But now the locks have changed, the “no vacancy” sign is up, and security will stop you at the door. You are no longer welcomed!
So goodbye Fear! I am no longer your home!! DUECES!!!!!